On Grandparents

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my grandparents – my grandmothers in particular. If things work out the way Derek & Kristen want them to, it’s very possible that by this time next year I could be or be about to be a grandma. That’s a very exciting thought to me. I also have one big worry. I am so afraid that I won’t be there in time for the birth. It’s extremely important to me that I am there. Not necessarily in the delivery room, but at the hospital. I so want to share that time with Derek. When the time comes, I will be praying very hard that God gets me there in time. Not that Kristen has a long labor – I don’t want to get a call that she is in labor and we get there 12 hours later and she’s still in labor. I hope she goes to the doctor and he tells her it will be within a day or so and we can leave then. But I guess that’s a worry for later. Really, as long as both Kristen and the baby are fine, then everything else is good.
I’ve been thinking about the Grandma I want to be and that makes me think about my grandmas and what I learned from and loved about each of them.
They were both strong women. Both were widowed; one never remarried, the other did. They both had children and so both were single mothers for awhile. They each knew what that was like so when I became a single mom, they were both always supportive. I remember shopping with Grandma Faye to find fabric for a baby blanket that she wanted to make for me. We looked at the blankets where you just added the border. I remember telling her “They all say That’s Our Baby!” “Well, it is our baby” she said and that was that. I have never ever forgotten that. Money was tight when Derek was little and sometimes I would be a little short on money. I went to Grandma Ruby for help a few times and she would just hand me her checkbook and say “Write what you need”. She never asked why I was short or made me feel worse about having to ask for help than I already did. I was able to help her by taking her shopping and when it got to be where she really didn’t want to go out, I would take her list and do it for her. I was glad to be able to do that for her.
Those are grown-up memories but I think a lot about when I was younger. Grandma Ruby lived in downtown Excelsior in an apartment over a business. It was a loft type apartment and I thought it was so neat. I am still fascinated with lofts today. That apartment was a great place for hide and seek and she would play with us. It was a lot of fun. I always enjoyed staying all night with her. Later, she moved to an apartment over a local funeral home. She would answer the phone or door when the men who worked there were out. We would always have to be really quiet when a family was downstairs, but again, it was a neat apartment. Do you know you get really weird looks when you walk into a funeral home with sleeping bags?? My cousin and I would spend the night with her and sometimes we would take our sleeping bags.

I don’t think I ever saw Grandma Ruby in anything other than a dress. The dress always had pockets (or she had an apron with pockets) and she always had butter rum lifesavers in her pocket. Every once in awhile I will buy a roll of Butter Rum Lifesavers mainly for the smell of them. It reminds me of her. Waldorf salad reminds me of her, too. We always had that when we had dinners there. I also have a book that has the story Jack in the Beanstock in it. I absolutely loved that story. She used to tell me that she couldn’t leave any part of the story out because I knew it all by heart, but that is the story I wanted to hear. She was glad when I was old enough to read it myself! I still have that book. My mom gets upset because after Grandma Ruby died my cousin took some of grandma’s good dishes. Mom feels they should have come to me because I spent more time with her and did more for her. It doesn’t bother me, though, because I have that book and that book means something to me. Someday, I will read that story to my grandchild. It may not be a favorite of theirs and if not, we’ll find another one, but I will read to them. Grandma Ruby always had books and I got my love of reading from both her and my mom.

Grandma Faye used to take me to church with her sometimes and whenever I hear the Hymn “I love to tell the story” I think of her. I think of her when I make hot chocolate. Hers always had lumps of cocoa in it and I loved it! I cannot to this day make hot chocolate with lumps in it. Mine always dissolve. I had a cup yesterday and no lumps! I went to Grandma & Grandad’s every Saturday that they and mom would let me. We had tuna salad sandwiches and “cheezies” most of the time. I still love that. I do eat other kinds of chips with tuna salad, but cheese puffs or something along that line is my favorite. She also had an organ that I loved to play, so maybe that’s where I got an interest in the piano. I never was very good and I didn’t play for others, but I did learn to play well enough to enjoy it. Grandma and Grandad liked to play cards and I think of them a lot of times when I am playing cards. It was fun when I got old enough to be allowed to play. After Grandad died, I would go by and visit grandma and she and I would play some kind of card game. I also learned to call her every night when I got home from work because if I didn’t, she would call me. And if the weather report was for snow or ice, she would tell me to be careful and “don’t slick off in the ditch!” After she died, I missed those evening phone calls.

When I moved to Texas, mom gave me a buffet that was Grandma Ruby’s. It sits in my kitchen. On the bed in our guest room is a bedspread that Grandma Faye crocheted many years ago. I have both of them here in my home with me.

So this is all taking the long way around to the kind of Grandma I want to be. I want my grandchildren to always know that I love them and that I will be there for them no matter what. I will read to them and I will take them to church when I can. I will play games with them and fix them their favorite foods. And maybe there will be something I do or say that I don’t give a thought to, but someday if they hear it or smell a certain smell, they will think of me.

I will share grandmothering duties with Jackie and I am thrilled about that. We are so lucky that Derek & Kristen found each other. She loves Derek as much as we love Kristen and we both will love their children so much. We also love each other, get along and enjoy spending time together. We already share Christmas Eve together and I love it and that will make it easy when there are grandchildren. I think we both look forward to that time.

And maybe someday, we will have a granddaughter who will be thinking about the impending birth of her own grandchild and she will think of us and what she got from each of us and how she is who she is because of Jackie and because of me.

Life in East Texas

I love to sit at my desk and look out into the backyard. It reminds me of a state park. Huge trees, lots of squirrels and birds and even a little ditch across the back where water flows through when we’ve had heavy rain. I try very hard to keep my squirrel feeder and bird feeder full because I do enjoy watching the little creatures. So does my Golden Retriever, for that matter, but I think our interests may not be quite the same.

I feel like I am on an extended vacation in someone else’s home. We’ve been here a little over a year now and I guess this house is finally starting to feel like our home. My husband has even wanted to help decorate the house. How scary is that??? Very, actually, as our tastes aren’t very much alike. Well, maybe that’s not totally true. We didn’t use to like the same things at all, but more and more we find ourselves liking the same pictures, paint color etc. I like to think his taste is improving. I am glad that’s he taking an interest in making the house look nice. It would be good, though, if he would work on his office, hobby room, and garage!

I love our house, I love our neighbors and I love our church. I don’t know if it’s just this neighborhood (and my guess is that it is not), but neighbors actually talk to each other! They tell you to let them know if you need something – and they mean it! If I tell my next door neighbor that I am going to fix tater tot casserole for dinner, but I have to go get tater tots, I can guarantee you that is she has them on hand, she will be here with a bag of tater tots to save me a trip to the store! Now, I have lived in another state my whole life until we moved here and it’s been a long time since I’ve had neighbors like that. Don’t get me wrong – there are an awful lot of good people back in that other state. But it’s different here. Different in a way that feeds my soul, makes me a better person and makes me feel loved by people who don’t even know me well. And I love them back, too, and I don’t know them well, either. If and when we move back to that other state, I will be a better person and a better neighbor for having lived here.

There are good people here in East Texas. The local banks advertise on TV and mention God and say “Merry Christmas”, not Happy Holidays. If you have offices to visit, you’d better not plan on getting your errands done in a hurry. People here like to take their time and they want to visit a little. I have learned to appreciate the slower pace and when I leave those places, I feel like the person I was doing business with was interested in me.
Yep, there are some good people here. If you want to give your ego a little boost, just come on down and visit with some folks here. But a word of caution! You will not find most of these good people at Wal-Mart. Now, I haven’t actually seen it, but I am sure that right outside the perimeters of the parking lot, there is a hook where you hang your manners before entering the parking lot and you can pick them up again when you come back out. It’s like a free-for-all there! You’re in danger whether you are driving in the lot or walking to or from the store in the lot. And it doesn’t get any better inside, folks. People will come barreling out of the aisles into a main row without looking to see if anyone is coming or not. And while they are running you down, they will look at you with a look that clearly says “How dare you be in my way?!”, like you are standing there just for the mere purpose of being in their way. And there is no age limit on this type of behavior, either. I’ve seen teenagers do it, I’ve seen middle aged people do it and I’ve seen old people do it. Let me tell ya, you’d better be on the lookout for those little old ladies. They may look sweet & fragile, but don’t you fall for that! And getting up and down those inner aisles is another story in itself. Some people down here make going to Wal-Mart a family affair. They bring the kids, their brothers & sisters and grandma & grandpa along. And the whole darn family stands around the cart blocking the aisle you are trying to get down. And do you think they are going to move out of your way? Nooooo siree – you’re just going to have to wait! I try really hard to do my Wal-Mart shopping during the week fairly early in the morning. There’s less people there then so it’s a little safer.

Aside from the Wal-Mart thing, East Texas is a great place to live. We’ve got beautiful pine trees, beautiful lakes and lots of sunshine. I thank God for letting us experience this even for a little while.