Adoption

Some of you already know that Don and I are thinking of adopting a child. If this happens, it will be a child from the state probably between the ages of 6 & 12. We don't have a preference as to a boy or girl. There is a lot to think about. These children have been in foster care for at least a year to 18 months before becoming eligible for adoption because the state first tries to reunite the family. Most of them have been neglected or abused or both. But they are children and they deserve families. I have always wanted more kids, but it just didn't happen. I have looked at children available for adoption on the internet before, but never really seriously considered adopting. But this time, I just can't get it out of my mind. We are going to go through the classes where we learn about the children in the system and we'll just see where it goes. We will continue to discuss this with family. Everyone has been supportive, a few are very excited and some have concerns - valid concerns. We will take time to think it all through and pray about it.
I posted awhile back about hearing God. This is the thing I was praying about. I have taken this to God to see what He wants. My prayer has been for this to be about what He wants us to do, not what we want. I was talking to God about it and I said I don't know if I can do this. These children have been through so much. I don't know if I am the right person for this. He said I am not asking you to do this alone. You were a single mom to Derek for a long time but you were never alone. You were surrounded by a great support system and look at him - he is wonderful! It will be the same with this child, only this time you will seek Me more. Ok, well, I really kind of like my life the way it is. I love my days to myself. A child will take that away. God said, "Terri, you're being selfish! Look at all I have given you. Are you not willing to share that?" Ok, fine, but really I don't think we can afford a child right now. This move wasn't good to us financially. Things are getting better and it's temporary, but still we're digging out. And God said "Just trust Me."
I'm not saying He is saying that this is what He wants to happen. I do believe He wants us to look into it and if it is what He wants, He already knows the child that is meant to be ours. If it's not what He wants, He will close the door. I know that there are a lot of concerns and that this will be a bumpy road, at least at first. I also know that there is a chance for blessings that we can not even imagine - both for us and for a child. It could be that God just wanted us to be aware of all the children looking for homes and just wants us to pray for them or maybe to find some way to volunteer - maybe not to adopt. I don't know. I just know for every reason I come up with as to why we shouldn't, there are better reasons to go ahead.
Sometimes I think we can only help one child and really, in the long run, will that make a difference? Of course it will. Is it worth changing our whole lives? Going through the teenage years again? Taking the chance of heartbreak? Time will tell. But any child, no matter how they come into your lives, changes it. The teenage years maybe aren't the most fun in the world, but they aren't that bad, either. And when your child becomes a responsible, mature, awesome adult, there's no describing the pride you feel when you look at them, talk to them. Derek said he figured after him we wouldn't want to do all that again. I hope he was kidding. Part of the reason I want to consider this is because of him. He is an amazing man. Doesn't another child deserve that chance? I know it is not the same as your biological child and you have to parent these children a little differently, at least at first. But I am hoping that if we do this, the child we get will be young enough for us to instill our values in. I know it will take time for them to learn to trust us, to love us. But I believe with time, love and patience, that it will come and we can give a child what they otherwise may not get.
Pray for these children. Pray for us and that we make the right decision - for us, for a child, for our family. If we do this, it has to be a family decision. It won't just affect us. I am not worried about this. I know that it will work out like it is supposed to.